WAYPOINTS #175
28/01/21
"365 DAYS AND I'M STILL NOWHERE"
FEAT: PICTISH TRAIL, CLÉMENTINE MARCH, SULKA, MOLLY LINEN, MARTHA FFION, FIRESTATIONS, THE LOST MAP PODCAST, MANDATORY BERNIE MEME + MORE
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THE RETURN OF PICTISH TRAIL
He's our master and commander, our lord and liege, our charming prince, our v.g. MD, our chairman of the motherf*ckin' board – but where has he been? What has become of him? Where did he come from, where did he go, where did he come from/go... actor Michael Biehn? Sad fact is, ol' Biehns these days doesn't even make the top 10 Google autofill suggestions for "Michael B" (try it). And yet, did softcore crooner Michael Bublé make a short but hard-hitting cameo as a tough Navy SEAL in The Rock (1996)? He did not! Was it disgraced light entertainment host Michael Barrymore who saved The Abyss (1989) from the abyss with his memorable turn as a tough Navy SEAL? It was not! Can anyone remember housewives' favourite sex-rocker Michael Bolton's nuanced portrayal of a tough Navy SEAL elevating the criminally underrated Navy SEALs (1990) to a classic of the petrol-station-bargain-bin-action-movie genre, or does that honour in fact belong to the BIEHNSTER? We all know the answer, etc etc.
But nevermind because at least there's Pictish Trail, safely sealed in his island kingdom of Eigg, surrounded by seals (not SEALs). When not running the small but perfectly malformed record label that is Lost Map Records (hi!) the Trail has been plotting a stunning comeback to solo business with an imminently forthcoming kaleidoscopic EP collection of previously unreleased material, remixes and more that forms a splendid appendage to his acclaimed 2020 album Thumb World. Think of it like a side-serving of upmarket crisps to Thumb World's delicious thick-cut ham sandwich. It's led by a song recorded during the making of Thumb World which reminds us of Michael Biehn's cruelly deleted cameo from Terminator 2: Judgment Day – i.e. immaculately conceived, yet somehow it just didn't fit with the flow. This MYSTERIOUS new track will premiere on February 1 exclusively as part of the new episode of the Lost Map Podcast, with the full new EP available exclusively to PostMap Club members from the beginning of February . "A stand-alone single recorded during the sessions for my last album," teases our Pictish, whose favourite Michael Biehn film since you're wondering is 2015's straight-to-video The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power, "it features swathes of tremolo guitar, reverb-soaked close harmonies and Mellotronic synths, to conjure the memory of a recurring dream."
We had a mad dream once that Michael Biehn was in Star Wars! Woke up laughing. |
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HATS, HATS, HATS FOR EVERY HEAD
(Pic credit: Ed Dowie)
1) From bulbous domes to pinched crania, shrunken crowns and simply really fat skulls, heads come in many shapes and sizes.
2) Find us a head which doesn't suit a Lost Map bobble hat. We'll wait.
3) Just £32 (one size fits all).
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Parties. Remember parties? Tbph we don't really remember parties. We stopped getting invited to parties years ago after that time we got bored at a party and so went to the kitchen and made ourselves a Bombay Bad Boy King Pot Noodle ™, put on the host's pyjamas, climbed into their bed, watched three b2b episodes of Ice Road Truckers and soon fell sound asleep. But as luck would have it in this blissful age of no longer needing to go anywhere near other humans , attending a party is in fact something you can now do perfectly safely and socially acceptably from the comfort of your own home/bed. In your pyjamas, while eating a Pot Noodle, even while half-watching Ice Road Truckers if you like. Find out TONIGHT, by joining us on the online for a free album preview listening party for Sulka's new album Take Care.
Sulka is of course the lo-fi melodic scuzz-rock alias of Glasgow-based Lukas Clasen. His debut album for Lost Map, Take Care, will be released TOMORROW via digital services and in an initial run of just 200 hand-stamped CD-Rs in hand-assembled packaging, each with a v. cool printed A5 zine containing lyrics and illustrations by Lukas. Additionally, 30 cassette copies will be released in collaboration with Gold Mold Records. Take Care is preceded by the instantly addictive singles 'Porch', ‘She Cares’ and ‘Fear It’, all of which you can stream/share now. Lukas has received support from among others BBC Radio 6 Music’s Steve Lamacq and Tom Robinson and BBC Radio Scotland’s Roddy Hart and Vic Galloway, who said of Sulka “ exciting… shades of Grandaddy and Elliott Smith,” and we don't disagree.
Hosted by Lost Map TV, tonight's listening party will begin with a specially curated playlist of videos from Sulka, before Lukas leads us on an interactive audio-textual adventure through the making of his very fine new album, accompanied by far-out visuals. Think TOTP2, but less creepy. BYOBBB (bring your own Bombay Bad Boy). |
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BANDCAMP DAY, B-B-B-BANDCAMP DAY,
B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BANDCAMP DAY
1) Next Friday, February 5.
2) Watch out for an email with news of more OUTRAGEOUS deals on Lost Map product.
3). Simply add, to cart.
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JANUARY POSTMAP CLUB FEAT. CLÉMENTINE MARCH
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"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?" sang All Saints in 1998, in what proved to be a vintage era for pop hits with random foreign bits in them, mainly about sex stuff – see also B*Witched's 'C'est la Vie', Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz's 'Deja Vu (Uptown Baby)', Ricky Martin's 'Livin' La Vida Loca' and Gerri Halliwell's seminal 'Mi Chico Latino'. Sadly that kind of thing has been banned in post-Brexit Britain, and as such you'll notice that the charts are now full of annoyingly jaunty songs about things like Cumberland pork sausages, jam, perfunctory missionary sex, darts, white bread, Newcastle Brown Ale, bad dental hygiene, "London", jam, refuse collection, pub fights, jam and mud, as performed on spoons and washboards and typically sung in a wonky Cockney accent. "Ooooooooooooooooooh, my old man's a dustman," etc etc.
Alas, this means that London-based French singer-songwriter Clémentine March has had to stop singing in her luxuriant native language – and also in Portuguese and Spanish, because she sometimes sings in those languages too – and instead stick to the good ol' Queen's on her new album Songs of Resilience. We're joking of course – about the Brexit stuff, anyway (f*ck Brexit). Clem in fact chose to sing almost entirely in English in keeping with the spirit of a record that represents a stripped-back, raw and direct reaction to the times and circumstances in which it was made (f*ck Brexit). "These songs," she says, "reflect as much the atonement and losing friends and my grandparents, but also falling in love, seeing the seasons passing, living in the absolute present, because there is no choice."
Ahead of its physical release on CDR on February 5, you can own the magnifique Songs of Resilience TODAY by joining the PostMap Club, because it's included digitally as part of a January bundle that also includes exclusive music by Sulka and Alabaster dePlume. Instant(ish) grat downloads for new members, who will also receive all of next month's postcards by Pictish Trail, Jenny Moore’s Mystic Business and Firestations. Subscribers in the EU please be aware that postage has now been raised to €1 MILLION (joke). MERDE AU BREXIT (not joke).
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A round-up of the now THREE PostMap Club membership tiers and their respective prices and benefits is as follows:
REGULAR BREW
£3 + postage, per month
- Postcards! At least two collectible PostMap postcards sent to your door at the end of every month – each containing download codes for a mixture of brand new music on Lost Map, alongside a random selection from our archives. When you sign up you'll also receive the previous month's postcards, completely free.
- Badge! Plus a new badge for every year of your subscription.
- Monthly newsletter! Containing hot goss / farmyard sh*te.
- Discounts! On other Lost Map releases, merchandise, gigs.
- Feelgood glow! Help support an independent record label.
GOLD BLEND
£5 + postage, per month
- All of the above except with a bigger badge.
CLUB BISCUIT
£10 + postage, per month
- All of the above except with an EVEN BIGGER badge.
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WATCH STREAMS BY MOLLY LINEN AND MARTHA FFION
1) As part of Independent Venue Week, Molly'n'Martha have recorded sets at The Glad Cafe in Glasgow.
2) You can watch Molly's set for free now, and Martha's from January 29.
3) Drop a few coins in their tip jars while you're at it. Suggested donation €1 MILLION.
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HOLY SMOKES, IT'S ANOTHER NEW EP BY FIRESTATIONS
Hey what's that smell? No it's not the acrid electrical singe of the recklessly overloaded four-way plug adapter you've decided to pretend isn't a problem even though it's situated danger close to the recycling bin. Nor is it the nutritious Dr. Oetker™ frozen pizza you just warmed up, before placing a second, inverted Dr. Oetker™ on top of it, in an experimental combo you've dubbed "the pizza sandwich". For once, this being a rare wash day, it's not even your rank rotten oxters. No, it's the smell of Firestations' hot-sh*t new EP Melted Medium, currently rotating in the microwave and set to ping March 5, 2021.
Melted Medium will be the second installment in Firestations' Automatic Tendencies project – a trilogy of three EPs released over a six-month period, each embracing a mixtape aesthetic through alternative “sunken” versions by the band as well as covers and remixes of new Firestations tracks by other artists. DIZZYINGLY GOOD lead track 'The Circular' will be released together with two exclusive B-sides as part of next month's PostMap Club, and you can already stream and share the song now. Band member and artist Laura Copsey is curating collections of limited-edition artworks that expand on the ideas within each release in the Automatic Tendencies project; the theme of Melted Medium will be FIRE . "We all have a primal instinct towards fire and continue to mesmerised by it as we will never truly master it," Firestations explain . "Starting as an ironic joke about the trend for fake fires on Netflix, Laura began to experiment with the senses and how far reality could be altered in an absurdist quest to conquer nature, questioning whether experiences need to be real in order to have meaning."
All of which begs the important question – does the recycling bin really need to catch fire in order for the hazard to have meaning? Only time will tell! |
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JOIN OUR FACEGROUP
1) Facebook is a social media website currently in the employ of which is one Nick Clegg – a man who we don't hear much about these days, and yet whom we should never forget remains a total b*stard.
2) Join the Lost Map Loop for chat / nonsense / grovelling apologies.
3) "We're sorry".
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LISTEN TO THE WAYPOINTS PLAYLIST
1) ♫ It must have Biehn loooove ♫
2) ♫ But it's oooooooooover nooo-ooo-owww ♫
3) ♫ It must have Bieeeehn good ♫
4) ♫ But I lost it somehooooowww ♫
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